Raising children in Micronesia

Celebrating my son's birthday recently has brought a lot of thoughts and emotions to the surface of my brain.  He turned 19 and is currently enrolled in the College of Micronesia pursuing an Associate's degree in Computer Information Systems.  I can't help but remember when I was his age, I was in the U.S. Navy and just newly married.  

My son and I have been through a lot together along with his other brother and sisters.  I was just exiting the U.S. Navy when he was born.  I was an E-6 Hospital Corpsman stationed at Naval Health Clinic Pearl Harbor.  I had just bought a single-family home in Hawaii and had high hopes and plans for the coming years.  

My kids and I ended up on a roller coaster ride and I am grateful that after returning home to Pohnpei and meeting my current wife, our lives have settled.  That is the word I appreciate and have gratitude for more than anything today: settled, as in having a family, raising children, and contributing to your community. This has almost always been the main responsibility and aspiration of many men in society.  

Today, I see more children being raised without Fathers.  Even worse, raised by single mothers who don't have enough time to spend with them, let alone teach them to be boys and men.  How can a woman ever know that?  I admit, I can't teach my daughters to be women.  It is better to have a Father and Mother in the Home, raising their children.  I mean, it took two to make a child, shouldn't both be responsible for raising them, then?

Celebrating 19 years of anything is an achievement.  Any measurement of time celebrated in the present moment is powerful.  It sets the present firmly in place against the backdrop of a grateful past and the potential of promise for a better tomorrow.  

I have truly been blessed to raise two sons and two daughters.  My first son is now a Father, raising his son with his wife in the U.S.A.  The recently turned 19-year-old son is still with his Mom and Dad.  My oldest daughter is finishing college and my youngest one is finishing high school.  Seeing them grow, learn, and even make mistakes is a blessing when my wife and I are still here to guide and comfort them.  

Along with raising children and being responsible for their well-being, comes the responsibility to ensure that your son or daughter becomes responsible adults.  I sometimes find this, in my experience, as an option for Fathers and Mothers today.  I'm sometimes reminded by others that this breakdown in responsibility is due to the modernization of the Micronesian family unit.  Children were raised by the village or relatives, it was a collective effort.  Even still, there was always a Father figure, if not a Father in the picture.   

For boys and young men, guidance and focus by another Man is important.  The same thing goes for a girl or young woman.  A woman to guide her as she grows up is most beneficial.  A Father and a Mother raising their children.  Doesn't that sound so good?  So right? Sadly, single-parent families are all the rage today as men think it's macho to have baby mamas and women think they are independent and don't need a man.  I really don't know how this happened to be so accepted.  

All I know is that I had a Father and Mother, and my children have a Father and Mother.  That is important to me and it seems to be important to many other people.  I see people who view having a Father and Mother in their lives as more stable, productive, and more successful than those who don't. I'm the best Father.  I am not even close to the second runner-up Father of the Year, but I always made it a point to be there for them.  I am their biggest fan and their biggest critic (with love), they are my responsibility and I treasure it every day of my life.